Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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