weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize