I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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