guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
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Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
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I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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