I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize