too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The power of my boobs compel you
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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