Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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