That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
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This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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