Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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