god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize