Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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