Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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