Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize