After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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