grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I faked an abortion last night.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize