Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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