just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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