My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize