This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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