A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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