Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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