It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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