I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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