Dual....:-)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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