some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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