so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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