we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
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He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
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Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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