My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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