Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize