I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
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And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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