I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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