I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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