i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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