I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize