he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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