bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize