My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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