She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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