So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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