All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize