Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact

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  (646): lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact http://tfl.nu/9ru6
  Replies (26) Good night (6697) Bad night (641) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.

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  (303): I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better. http://tfl.nu/9eyu
  Replies (23) Good night (5468) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.

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  (480): There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks. http://tfl.nu/b0f1
  Replies (4) Good night (698) Bad night (2810) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.

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  (209): found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised. http://tfl.nu/cxq4
  Replies (7) Good night (1013) Bad night (3711) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone

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  (216): he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone http://tfl.nu/anp6
  Replies (5) Good night (4044) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.

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  (949): In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor. http://tfl.nu/vpx7
  Replies (32) Good night (6165) Bad night (1963)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.

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  (902): Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/bcf5
  Replies (4) Good night (781) Bad night (1401) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk

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  (847): First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk http://tfl.nu/kqu6
  Replies (6) Good night (2518) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.

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  (413): Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night. http://tfl.nu/jhax
  Replies (4) Good night (645) Bad night (1528)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...

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  (514): We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one... http://tfl.nu/kexj
  Replies (11) Good night (2682) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.

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  (239): I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life. http://tfl.nu/rpst
  Replies (1) Good night (1117) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.

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  (317): Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid. http://tfl.nu/n6yk
  Replies (5) Good night (1107) Bad night (1273) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.

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  (607): Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan. http://tfl.nu/ogj8
  Replies (0) Good night (781) Bad night (345) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.

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  (727): Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what. http://tfl.nu/k4ko
  Replies (5) Good night (1607) Bad night (464)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today

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  (541): You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today http://tfl.nu/hkte
  Replies (1) Good night (252) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt

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