Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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