is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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