She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize