I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
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You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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