A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize