hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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