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I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
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