you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize