yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize